Jokes Thread
#13

Muslim: 'WHAT'S UP, APE?'

Atheist: 'WHAT'S UP, DIRT?'
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#14
Adam was returning home late one night. When Eve confronted him.
"You are seeing another woman, aren't you?" she accused.

"Don't be silly," he replied. "You are the only woman on earth."

Later that night Adam woke up feeling a tickle on his chest.
"What the hell are you doing?" he asked Eve.

"What do you think?" she asked. "I am counting your ribs."
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#15
Took a while understand this joke:

A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church, sat down in the Confessional and said nothing. The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting.

The priest coughs to attract the drunk man's attention, but still the man says nothing.

The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.

Finally the drunk replies, "No use knockin,' pal. There's no paper."
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#16
As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast.

He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?"
One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray."
"Good," said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short."
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#17
[Image: circumcise.jpg]

A man wanted his new bike to be blessed by a Hindu priest, Mullah and Padre. So he invited all the three of them to his house.

The Hindu priest lit the camphor and waved it before the bike.

The Padre poured holy water and blessed the bike.

The Mullah came with a hacksaw and cut two inches of the silencer.

"Circumcision is the only way to reach Allah."
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#18
(25-Sep-2010, 09:52 PM)shrihara Wrote: Muslim: 'WHAT'S UP, APE?'

Atheist: 'WHAT'S UP, DIRT?'

(09-Oct-2010, 10:03 PM)shrihara Wrote: [Image: circumcise.jpg]

A man wanted his new bike to be blessed by a Hindu priest, Mullah and Padre. So he invited all the three of them to his house.

The Hindu priest lit the camphor and waved it before the bike.

The Padre poured holy water and blessed the bike.

The Mullah came with a hacksaw and cut two inches of the silencer.

"Circumcision is the only way to reach Allah."

How are these "jokes"? How are they related to atheism? How do they serve the freethought cause? They look like idiotic attempts by right wing trolls at humour.
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#19
(09-Oct-2010, 10:09 PM)madhav Wrote: How are these "jokes"? How are they related to atheism? How do they serve the freethought cause? They look like idiotic attempts by right wing trolls at humour.

First joke: we are apes, in fact the 5th apes in evolution, so there is no offense in someone calling you an ape. Calling them dirt is definitely a good mocking reply.

Second Joke: Its a joke on Islam.
Its funny how they all "bless-the-bike"!
There is a fear of accidents among everyone. Religious heads make use of this fear and come up with their own superstitious way to make life out of it. Some of them are funniest.

Genital mutilation is a very serious problem and most awful religious practice. As you can see in that picture, the guy is protesting against it. Isn't that something that we also have to do? Isn't it a freethought cause?
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#20
A catholic nun asks the obviously Roman Catholic girls in her class what they want to be when they grow up.
One says she wants to be a doctor, another says a nurse and third a nun and so on until they come to the one who says she wants to a prostitute.
the nun outraged, turns to her and says- what did you say you want to become when you grow up? The girl says 'A PROSTITUTE'. the nun says 'Thank god I thought you said PROTESTANT!'
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#21
A Hindu, a Muslim and a Christian are drowning. The Christian prays to Jesus to rescue him. Jesus comes and rescues him. The Muslim prays to Allah to rescue him. Allah comes and rescues him. The Hindu prays to Ganesha to rescue him. Ganesha comes and ... starts dancing. The Hindu gets outraged and asks why. Ganesha says, "This is what you do when I'm drowning".
Manju Vadiarillat
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#22
(Disclaimer: Santa-Banta here do not point out to any community or religion. They are only popular joke names)

Santa: There was an instance last year where a chap from Abu Dhabi was put behind bars for displaying Anti-Islamic stuff.

Banta: What did he display? his uncircumcised penis?
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#23
There are 3 nuns and a mother superior.

The mother superior tells the nuns before they can receive their saint name, they had one final test.
She told them to go commit one sin so that they would not have urges to be bad.

After the 3 nuns return, the mother superior says, "Did you commit your sins?" They all shake their heads yes.

The first 2 nuns are crying, the 3rd is giggling.

The mother superior says to the first one, "What sin did you commit child?"
The first nun answers with tears in her eyes. "I was just rotten, I picked flowers from someone's garden."
The mother superior says, "Go drink the holy water and it will be all right."
The 3rd nun is in laughs and the mother superior ignores it.

The mother superior asks the 2nd one.
Her whole body is shaking and she is crying. "I stole candy from a baby."
The mother superior says, "My child drink the holy water and you are forgiven."
The 3rd nun falls on the floor hysterically laughing.

The mother superior is disgusted and asks, "What are you laughing at?"
The 3rd nun is barely able to answer through her tears of laughter, "I peed in the Holy water."
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#24
A Brahmin and a Rajput have a theological debate. The Rajput extolls his Saka (Scythian) heritage and debates for some length on the supremacy of the Sun and hence the need for Sun-worship.

The Vaidik Brahmin listens to his words, and finally replies,
"The Sun is not as powerful as you think, indeed it is of even less power than the Moon," said the Brahmin.

Astonished, the Rajput askied, "How can that be ?",
to which the Brahmin replied, "The Moon shines at night, when it is needed. The Sun shines only during the day, when there is no need of it at all!"
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