Religious rites of a loved one!
#25
The more I am in this forum, the more I realize that I'm a toddler amidst giants in terms of maturity, articulation and a clear headed thought process. So while I take baby steps to reach there, please bear with me smile

(29-Aug-2010, 08:36 AM)Swati Wrote: I had figured out that you're a young person. I've gone through this at your age. I'm glad you started this thread. It's nice to have this forum to discuss issues such as this here.
Thanks for this post and being patient with me smile

(29-Aug-2010, 08:36 AM)Swati Wrote: But, if as you mentioned in your earlier post, you do not care to perform any religious rites for your loved ones, as you're an atheist, and you're too busy grieving at your loss, would you after some time feel any guilt or regret it? How would your family react if they knew that you thought this way?
Exactly. This is the reason I started this thread. And although I'm slowly starting to be able to guess how I would feel, I'm not totally certain yet. But I am making progress. I'll explain more below.

(29-Aug-2010, 08:36 AM)Swati Wrote: I think you misunderstood me. You're talking about self-delusion as if I like living in illusions. I'm in a different phase of life where I've earned respect from my family for my beliefs. This validation of my life will be there in death as well.
Even without having explicitly mentioned funeral arrangements, I am 99.9% sure that I can trust some people in life and death. The small margin of doubt is only for unforeseen circumstances and if I live longer than them.
When I say that I will not know after I'm dead, I'm merely stating the biological fact that once the brain is dead, we'll not know same as a person who is in a coma.

When I said I want to know while I'm alive, it simply meant that I started expressing my views on religion, superstitions, meaningless rituals very openly with my family.
As atheists, we influence our families too. I know if I die tomorrow, my eyes and other useful organs will be donated to a hospital.
Yup! I did misunderstand you! And from your post I realized something. Your confidence comes from the fact that your family accepts your beliefs (most of your confidence at least, rest might be because of your maturity and experience). My family's lack of acceptance of my belief has in turn instilled a fear / emotion (I'm not sure what it is), that since they arent gonna respect my wishes, why should I? Maybe I do care about how my body will be handled past death! I'm not sure, but I am not as certain as I was before I started this thread.

And this fear has in turn caused me to childishly state that since they will definitely perform rites for me when I die, I want to definitely not perform rites when they die (to an extent). This I think is one of the primary reason (not the only reason of course), and a bad reason too. There are many other logical and rational reasons of course. But if I do this for the wrong reason, then I'll definitely hate myself and not be able to forgive myself. Thanks for that perspective smile

(29-Aug-2010, 08:36 AM)Swati Wrote: It's good to start talking about things with families, though it's not a good idea to start with this particular subject of death and funerals. We can choose our friends but not our parents. It's a duty also to save them from being duped, so one can try gently debunking some superstitious beliefs.
I think that this, above all else, will clear my head on this issue! I think I finally comprehend that the actual wishes of the person will affect me beyond their death! And as you suggest, debunking their myths while they are alive is a MUCH better alternative than to fight with a dead person's memory in your head!

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